The Archives of Muad'Dib (formerly 'the fu's news')

And now it is 11 years.  Life moves faster and faster and, as always, this day sneaks up on me.  I couldn't even make it to the cemetery today due to work.  But, though I do not truly know exactly what waits on the other side of the veil, the MOJ lives on, at least in my memory.  When I read his writings or emails, I can still hear his voice.  And from time to time, when I sit down to pen some Grimm lore, I can hear him laughing as we did in the elder times as we waited for the Beirut table to open.  But after 11 years I sometimes feel like I'm running out of things to say in this conversation with myself.  Do I miss you MOJ?  Heck yeah I do.  To this day I still feel like I can somehow will the past to be a bad dream, that I almost expect to see you standing there when I'm at your grave, chin out, greeting me with a "Hmmmmmm" to me as you always did.  Sometimes it all seems like a lifetime ago but when I let my mind drift back, it feels like just yesterday that…

And so it is the tenth anniversary of the passing of the mighty MOJ.  Life with a marriage, kids, and a house continues to be quite busy and I wouldn't trade that for anything of course.  But what I imagined to be a more grand remembrance has arrived too quickly and quietly.  I usually start to feel the twinges of sorrow at Collin's passing early in March and it tends to carry on until this day comes.  But last year I was so busy that it sneaked up on me and this year, it did so even more quickly. I can't help but feel guilty for this but I know it's natural as well.  Still, despite the cold, rain, and a rather nasty sinus headache, I still was able to get to the cemetery and pray at his side.  I'm not saying that to brag in a "Hey!  Look at me!  I'm such a good friend!" way.   I'm only saying it to remind myself that remembering my friend is important to me.  It's one of the most important things to me.
I can still vividly recall moments fro…

I can't remember ever being as busy at this time of year as we have been this year and that, combined with various other circumstances have forced the Grimms to postpone our day of remembrance of the late MOJ, not the least of which is the fact that we nearly lost another of our number this year.  That the Grimms are still 3 and not now 2 is a blessing but Vin's recovery is such that a true night of celebration must wait.  Vin and I still went to the cemetery yesterday for a brief visit but it was hardly enough time to properly pay tribute to our fallen brother.
This busy time has also made it tough for me to slow down and put myself back in the MOJ frame of mind as I normally like to do at this time of year.  As I've said many times, many people deal with the parting of loved ones by moving on as quickly and as best they can.  Others welcome the pain of missing that person since that pain is sometimes all we have left that makes us feel close.  I'm definitely the latt…

This year, we visited the cemetery as usual but there was a good rain coming down.  We decided to pray in the car by Collin's grave and then head out into the rain for a shorter period of time to pay our respects.  After we finished praying, we headed out and the rain let up for a bit.  And this is what we were greeted with: The photo really doesn't do the rainbow total justice.  It was pretty vibrant and eventually turned into a double rainbow.  I'll take that as a sign.  Rest in peace Mojo.  You are always in our thoughts.

Today marks 8 years since your passing mighty MOJ.  And yet your Grimm apprentice carries on your memories.  When I load up Golden Axe, I can still sense you playing next to me.  When I'm smashing trolls in Pigskin, I can still hear you laughing.  When I recklessly charge into battle as the Master Chief, you are still there in my mind saying "Paul Muad'Dib you are about to die."  When I drink an MGD I can still see you across the Beirut table.  You have left a hole on our lives, one that I don't ever want to heal fully.  I salute you my mentor, friend, and brother.  You will always be missed... until we meet again.

It has been seven years and you are still missed Collin.  A few of the many things that I regret I cannot do anymore...
head to your house to watch movies, play Halo, or even cleanse your computer of its latest demon viruses. play Beruit with you or against youhead to the Milford Rec and play some Golden Axe with you.head to the Square One theater to see your latest playsing those crazy skull lyrics to Canned Heat's Going Up the Country with you. walk under that laughing skull in the doorway to your kitchen and have a cold Killian's. read your Grimm Lore and come up with new lore with youlaugh as you torment my poor Mom with your crazy responses to "What are you guys up to tonight?"quote the crazy cultists from Blood together at one of the many parties at the Duva house.piss you off by telling you that "When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master." during a Beruit game.do that "Grimm Chin" thing we used to do when we met at Ruby Tue…