Life goes on but not without its scars

Well the last time I really posted anything was when I posted about Collin's passing. Since then I've once again let the blog gather dust so I figured I should clear the dust and pick up where I left off.
I haven't posted any more stories about Collin in the comments below simply because most of them are just situations that might have a personal meaning to me and would be hard to express in words while still expressing any real meaning to anyone else. It does not mean that he's out of my mind though. While the pain has been somewhat dulled, I still think about him every day.
Yesterday I went to visit Collin's grave. It feels weird to type such a thing about a friend of mine. I know I'm not a kid anymore but I'm certainly not old enough to be visiting the graves of my friends.
There are no standing headstones at this cemetery (that's the rule apparently) so the markers are either flat monuments or just simple markers or a sign of some sort. Collin's was a lamp with solar strips to charge the light for when the sun sets. At first I thought it was odd to have a working lamp as a marker since cemetery visiting hours are only during the day but then I thought that it was comforting knowing that his grave would be lit at night or on a dark and stormy day even though there would be nobody there to see it. It actually reminded me of a poem he wrote.

Home In Christ

Wandering and lost I am shut out
Shut out from warmth
Shut out from love
My breath drifts around me-a smoking pall
In the drifting rain
Falling into the darkness at another dark road.
Until I decide to stop-
Wiping a wet hand down my wet face-
And look-look into the night
Just look, until I see the light-
The candle glow haloing the dim wooden frame.
Right there all the time-calling me
Calling me home.
I go to the flickering glow
The warm white light.
I knock at the door
And it opens without a sound.
And I am welcome.


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